Brain Chirp

My friend decided to relapse. Hopefully, I will survive. It is annoying to know the "logical" side of truth only to have your brain ignore it. Only to have everything filtered through a horrible, nasty self doubting screen. Does being self aware help? Who the fuck knows?

So drained. That's the feeling sometimes. Drowning in ToDos and the other obligations one imposes or gets imposed upon self. A moment of clarify sometimes shines through the cracks, only to disappear again. Oh  you think. I got this. Then one little thing comes through, makes the crack bigger, but there is only darkness outside. That one little thing you should have done.